dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
