You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
