What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize