Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Everything about him screamed your future.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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