Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
