Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
