My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
