Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
