with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
