There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
