I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
