We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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