My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
