Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
