College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
