I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
