Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
