She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have post one night stand depression
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
