Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
