you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize