A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
