im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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