So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm having to shit out rocks
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