My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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