If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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