Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize