Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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