p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
