So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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