Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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