I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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