just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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