My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
