There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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