At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
