I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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