super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize