matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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