i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
