I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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