What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
