I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
