TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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