Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
