Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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