its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
