Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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