Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize