I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't turn off my feet"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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