I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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