Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drake has all the answers
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
