glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
