I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
