i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we made out on top of his cat.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
