I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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