i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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