Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
