i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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