well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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